Here I am again....standing on the edge of an abyss
This is a familiar place for me, I know all it's sights and smells
the feeling of this ancient ground crumbling beneath my feet every time i dare to take a breath or shift from one foot to the next...
I am tethered here with a thin thread that almost appears to frail to haul me back should I slip
It has brought me back many times before so I should trust it...
But tonight it seems more frail than the many times before
What has changed in the time sense my last visit here? only me....
I fear the fall this time,
I have no faith that I will again be able to climb to safety
The air is heavier this time around,
the ground around me crumbling faster
there is a dank smell here....reminiscent of piss and stale beer
I reach for my tether intent on trying once more to make my way back to safety,
wait...I let go again
Wouldn't it be better to just stand here and wait for the fall?
Just once to let go and see how far the bottom really is...
A choice has to be made quickly or the crumbling bits I stand on will make it for me...
I lack the energy, or is it the courage to make a choice....
I am awake again...the third time tonight
Will my mind ever quiet and let me rest?